rambling othercat

Moving Day

2007-01-25T00:02:00.000-05:00

I've decided to move over to another blogging site. Blogger is proving too unstable, and as the old saying goes, a change is as good as a rest.

Snowbank 1, Small Canine 0

2007-01-22T23:20:00.000-05:00

Grendel came out on the road with me today. While I was fixing my customer's PC, her colleague M offered to take Grendel for a short walk to the mailbox. I figured there was no harm in that, so off the little fugger went.

A few minutes later, Grendel and M returned. M was in hysterics, and Grendel looked like he had seen some kind of monstrous apparition. Grendel had come face to face with his first snowbank.

A bit of background if I may: Grendel is a small breed of dog that originates in Mexico. He has a short coat, and an obvious love of warmth. Snowbanks are not warm.

Grendel, being none the wiser, figured that he could scamper onto the snowbank for a quick peek. He found out very quickly that some snowbanks are actually quite soft, and if you're only a few inches from the ground, you can disappear quite readily if the snowbank is deep enough.

Grendel was quite shocked by this strange turn of events. M and the rest of us had a good laugh at the little fugger's expense. After all, how is a little condo-dog to know that snowbanks can swallow them whole and cover them in a cold fluffy substance that they've never seen before?

I suspect that Grendel will be a little wary of snowbanks for a while. He didn't get the joke. You should have seen the look on his face.

Bright Sunny Day Equals Confusion

2007-01-20T23:57:00.000-05:00

Overall I've had another day of improvement. My vision gets sharper by the day. The colour perception is still dodgy, and worst of all, my sensitivity to light is proving quite difficult to deal with. I can't complain, but I can certainly observe.

It was bright and sunny here in Toronto for the entire day. I really felt like the dimmer switch had been turned up a fair bit. It's the most light I've seen in over three weeks now.

I wore my sunglasses most of the day to limit my exposure to light, except while I was in my Pilate's class in the morning, and for a bit this afternoon. Even with the sunglasses however, I found that I have a time limit for exposure to bright lights.

Late in the afternoon I went to the market for some goodies, and much to my chagrin, I found that things had gotten much darker than they were earlier in the day. The sun was still above the horizon, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. My eyes felt differently even though there was a surplus of ambient light.

As I was wandering amongst the vendors, the dimmer switch got turned down to about half what it was earlier in the day. I was quite baffled when I went into the Asian food supply store, and couldn't read a damn thing. I could only tell products by their shapes and sizes rather than making out the packaging details. Worse still, I started into a mild panic when my eyes started fading. I made it home feeling quite agitated. With a bit of rest, and some breathing exercises my vision perked up again. It was disconcerting.

I am definitely going to have to watch my exposure to sunlight for a while until I have a consistent reaction to light conditions. My pupils are not really in sync with the demands of the current light.

Overall, my vision is better, but the warning signs have been posted. I am eager to resume driving, but I think I'd better cool my jets until I'm certain I can handle the varieties of light. Walking the streets and public transit seem to be the appropriate modes of transport for the foreseeable future. It's too bad Toronto doesn't have the luxury of a frozen canal to skate around on like some other town I know.

Two steps forward and one step back. At least I had a good feed on the best pizza in the city to compensate.

Godzilla meets Eyeball

2007-01-19T10:39:00.001-05:00

More good news to report. I just got out of the eye clinic, and I have my
latest results. My right eye is now 20/40 and my left eye is 20/25. We have
discovered that color perception in my left eye is returning but I'm quite
colorblind in my right eye. My visual acuity is coming along quite nicely.
Color perception, and sensitivity to light are still an issue. Even on a
dull cloudy day like today, what little sun gets through is enough to dazzle
me a bit, and gives me a great deal of difficulty trying to focus.

The good doctor conducted a quick and dirty field test this morning, and we
discovered that there are still parts of my field of vision that are a
little bit dodgy. The lower left quadrant of my right eye is weak, and
there's still a small but noticeable area of weakness in my left eye. It's
certainly not as bad as the field test from January 12, but I still have
cause for concern. On the practical side, I'm still using the Microsoft
magnifier to read things on my screen. I suspect that I'll have to wait a
little while before my vision is in a steady state so that I can get myself
a new reading glass prescription. My distance vision is now good enough
that I could probably resume driving, but I'm going to spare the good people
of Toronto that headache and avoid getting behind the wheel of the car just
to be safe.

What I need to do now is to counter the emotional turmoil caused by the
steroids I'm on. Last evening I went from a state of relative happiness to
complete confusion and anger in a matter of seconds. I'm still dependant on
my friends and partner, so I can't be pissing them off too much. I can now
understand how 'roids can cause all sorts of erratic behavior. It's like
I've been on a week long speed trip. My digestion, sleep patterns and
emotional steadiness are all unsettled. I think I've had enough of this
stuff to fuel an entire gym for a couple of months. I have only lost my
composure a handful of times since this episode began, but I'd rather not in
the first place. While I regret barking at Sassinak last night, the worst
incident was when I was in the hospital. I was was listening to a string
arrangement of "Good Night" by the Beatles, and at the end of the tune, a
lovely female voice chimes in and says, "goodnight everybody...goodnight."
At the time things were quite dark, and when I heard the voice, a massive
lump formed in my throat. It was all I could do to stop from bawling like a
baby. The plaintive lullaby, and the soothing voice didn't do a lot to calm my nerves. At that moment, I contemplated never seeing anything again. The proverbial ton-o-bricks landed on my ass. Thank goodness that feeling
passed.

All in all, I'm quite happy. The drug doses are tapering off, and I have
less than a week to go. I'm a little less wound up every day, so I think I
can cope until the treatment finishes. The end is in sight.

***

While I'm on the subject of good news, I had a bit of fun last night. Weak
eyes and all, I went to the rink at Nathan Phillips Square and took a spin on my new skates. Am I ever glad I had a Christmas Gift Certificate burning
a hole in my pocket. I must have been out on the ice for a couple of hours,,
and much to my surprise, I didn't land on my arse. Sass came along for the
ride too, so it was nice to get back on skates after a long 19 years. I also
had the pleasure of hooking up with my long lost friend, The Mad Modeller.
It's been a long six or seven years since I had seen him. It's almost like
we hadn't parted company at all. We had a pleasant dinner and caught up on things after my spin on the rink was complete. Hard times always make you find out who your real friends are, and I'm glad my little horror story made him surface again. I will never groan about airplane and helicopter models as long as I live!

***

"All understanding begins with our not accepting the world as it appears." -
Alan C. Kay

Twinkle Twinkle Urban Stars

2007-01-18T01:05:00.000-05:00

You might be interested to know that the Lakota people of the Great Plains have a constellation that spans from Sirius, through the belt of Orion to the red star in Taurus called Aldebaran and beyond to the Pleiades. It also includes Rigel and Bellatrix on both ends of Orion. It marks out a vast chunk of the night sky, and according the the Lakota, it represents a gigantic animal, most likely a buffalo, but I've also heard it described as a lizard. There's more detail at the Lakota Star Knowledge web site. The ancient Greeks weren't the only ones to name constellations. Those are just the names we're accustomed to from centuries of common usage. Other people from around the world have their own names and shapes to describe the constellations. So Go Lakota! It's a cool star grouping and it's not a huge stretch to see the group.

It's always fascinating to look up at the stars knowing that they're all just like our sun essentially, blazing away in their own little corner of the universe. Whether you're an astronomy fanatic like myself, or just admire the twinkling beauty for it's own sake, it's hard to resist. I've never heard anyone exclaim that they didn't like watching the stars.

Tonight took the cake however. Even with my feeble eyes, I took off my sunglasses and peered up. I was able to make out enough of the stars of this super-constellation, and when I did, I knew for a fact that my eyes were going to be ok.

I can still see the stars. I'm a lucky bastard!

Jeepers Creeper, I've got Peepers

2007-01-16T08:12:00.001-05:00

Hello all:

More good news to report. My vision continues to improve. It was good
enough last night that I could install Dragon NaturallySpeaking on my
computer and use it to dictate to the system instead of typing. Exactly 1
week ago I couldn't read the face of the clock from farther than 2 feet.
Today the details are almost luxurious. I suspect that by the end of the
week, I'll be able to resume working without too much eye strain, and I'll
be in full swing by next week.

My eyes are at their best in the morning after a full night's rest. After
an entire day of trying to strain and see things my vision isn't so hot.
But I'm a patient man, and I know I can't push my luck too far. At this
point in the game. I really believe the doctor when he tells me that my
eyesight will recover fully. When this is over, I am going to post a
picture that I drew of my a worst field test just to show you how dismal the
situation really was. And hopefully you'll get a sense of how rotten the
situation actually proved to be. I know I've blathered on at some length in
this blog, but as the old saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words.

As this episode winds down, I think I am certainly more qualified to speak
about computers and disabilities. If anyone loses their vision quite
rapidly, I am sure it would prove quite difficult to adapt. As my vision
was rapidly circling the drain, I purchased the Dragon NaturallySpeaking and
found out that it was virtually impossible to set up. I'm sure a lot of
people make the same mistake thinking they can use their computer with voice
commands, but unfortunately, you need to be able to read the text on the
screen to set up the software. It is a cruel catch 22 situation. I am not
aware of other offerings for visually disabled people, but Dragon seems to
have the market share for voice activation software, and I think they could
do a better job of catering to people who can't set up their systems as
easily as they would suspect. I probably would have been beat anyway,
because even if they had included Braille text in the booklet for training
the software, I wouldn't have been able to read that anyway.

Despite this little glitch, the Dragon NaturallySpeaking worked quite
nicely, and I'd recommend it to anyone who wants to have dictation software
on their computer. As a professional computer geek, the personal computer is
my tiny window on the world, and I felt at a great loss when I couldn't use
it as effectively as I wanted to. I'm sure glad that I can see again.

Things are improving rapidly. All we have to do now is make sure Handsome Jack doesn't slip in the slush.

More Good News

2007-01-15T10:01:00.001-05:00

I went to see the eye doctor this morning.

My right eye is 20/70 and my left eye is 20/50. It's much better than 20/500
and 20/400 like it was last week. I will say no more except, I'm as happy as
a pig in shit right now.

Still Improving

2007-01-15T07:46:00.001-05:00

Hello All:

I finished my megadoses of 'roids as of this past Saturday. Now I'm on a
quickly tapering maintenance dose that will dwindle to nothing by the middle
of next week. I am happy to report that my vision continues to improve. I
suspect that I won't be driving the Grand Prix or participating in any
marksmanship competitions, but I am pleased nonetheless.

The MS Magnifier plays less of a role in my ability to use the computer, but
I still need it to see the text on the screen. Now I would estimate that I
can read 48 point text clearly rather than the previous 72 points. Not bad
for only a couple of days. I'm still struggling with a few things, but the
situation improves daily.

It was a grey day yesterday here in Ontario, so I wasn't cheered by the
results. I felt like I had hit a roadblock because I couldn't tell if my
vision had gotten any better. I kept a brave face and went north to see my
mum and dad. I think my father was a bit shocked by the news, and I'm glad I
had a chance to put his mind at ease. I can't measure how my mum felt, but
I'm sure she was equally happy to see me up and about rather than
languishing in a hospital bed with no appreciable sight.

The 'roids act as an adrenal stimulant on top of all the other effects, so
I've had the dubious pleasure of rising before dawn for the last week. It's
not such a bad thing, because it's given me an important benchmark for
measuring my vision. Each day, despite the usually cloudy temperament, I've
noticed the sky getting light earlier each day. People have started turning
on the lights, and the sun does come up after all. I'm bouncing back. Just
thought you'd like to know that there is good news in the world.

Have a great day, and if you're out and about in this foul weather, make
sure you don't slip on the ice.

I have the best friends in the world

2007-01-13T13:00:00.000-05:00

I think I've dodged a bullet here folks.

A week ago, despite the fact that the sun was out and things were brightly lit, I wasn't too aware of it. I could make out dark shapes and some extremely bright lights. Otherwise, it was black. From last Saturday to the following Monday, it got worse than that.

In the interim, I have been admitted to the neurology ward of my local hospital, and the best doctors available have contributed to what I consider a remarkable recovery. On top of that, I've found that I have the best friends in the world. No shit.

Everyone from frequent company to long lost friends have found out one way or the other and made attempts to contact me. They've let me know in no uncertain terms that they are thinking about me and wishing me well. It's helped me hold it all together, and I just wanted to say thanks to all of you for caring. Like Pete Townshend says "Deliver your future into the hands
of your friends." Truer words were never spoken.

Adventures In Health Care Part Deux

2007-01-11T21:50:00.000-05:00

[as dictated to sassinak]

Hello everyone, I'm finally out of the St. Michael's Golf and Country Club where I've been treated to the best healthcare around for my affliction. I arrived at the opthalmology clinic Monday morning to demonstrate to the good doctors my complete blindness. As I was two days early for my appointment they quickly took notice and sent me across the street to see an entire gaggle of neurologists.

At least I think that's the kind of group that neurologists make.

The gaggle quickly determined that my eyesight was largely defunct as a result of my cold and flu before Christmas. Basically they ran tests galore to eliminate every other possibility and the only thing they could agree on was that my body rejected my optic nerve when it was invaded by the flu virus.

To treat me they have decided to give me megadoses of high powered steroids to boost my body's ability to regenerate the nerve tissue quickly and so far it seems to be working.

For example, on Monday on the way to the hospital I couldn't see the crossing lights at street corners. I was guessing that it was safe to cross because I could see the dark shapes of the cars moving through the intersection and I was following them in hopes that they weren't breaking the law.

It got me to the hospital safely anyway.

Since the beginning of the therapy my ability to appreciate light has increased remarkably even though it's not so hot yet. I can see a clock from ten feet away rather than having to peer at it from about a foot. This doesn't include tiny things like watches and microwave displays, this is a clock. So you can see how I can't.

That's pretty pathetic but it's still improving.

My pal in Montreal says that I should get a job as an American League baseball umpire or a driving instructor.

My first two nights in the hospital were quite restful as I had a nice peaceful room and good co-habitants who were not too much trouble. The last night ended up being a whole other kettle of fish. I was delighted to share my room with three post-surgery orthopedic patients who were all in various states of repair and all in great deals of pain.

Needless to say, they had the nurses running in and out of the room all night dealing with pain medication and various body adjustments that they couldn't make for themselves while i tried to grasp a few fitful hours of sleep. It wasn't a good mix but I can't begrudge them their pain because I certainly wouldn't want it myself.

Even so, one of them still tried to pick up Sassinak while she was paying me a visit. [he even asked me to wear a naughty nurse outfit if i came back - sass] So you have to admire his spirit. Regardless all the moaning and groaning didn't give me much of a good night's sleep. Ultimately I'm glad to be home and in the care of Sassinak and a nice russian woman who came in to set up the intravenous 'roids.

All's well with the world thanks to my seeing-eye blogger and I can now take extra therapy on my balcony.

Adventures in Healthcare

2007-01-04T13:56:00.000-05:00

I think I'm kinda messed up. I've been in and out of the opthalmology clinic the last couple of days, and about the only thing the good doctors can tell me is my vision isn't right. As Lari sez, it doesn't take a Rocket Surgeon to figure that out.

I've been scanned, probed and bled. I've had my blood pressure checked severak times. According to the numbers, I am a healthy man. No-one can put a finger on what is wrong with my eyesight. The opthalmologists have determined that I have papillitis: An irritated optic nerve.

I had a neat test this morning to determine the optical field. The test basically shows that my right eye is only receiving input in one corner, and my left eye is compromised ever so slightly. I could have told them that without benefit of the high=tech diagnostics. Scientists want cold hard numbers though, so the test merely confirmed the awful truth with nice looking graph.

I'm back to the hospital in a few days to have another field test, so I 'm hoping the downward curve of vision loss is arrested in the meantime. The radiologiest have to do another CAT scan too. I'm hoping that the good people at the clinic can figure out what the hell's happening. All I know for certain is that my vision is worse today than it was yesterday.

On the positive side, I've got the support of my friends and a seeing-eye chihuahua to keep me from grief. I'll keep you posted, if you keep your fingers crossed. Sound like a fair deal?

Not Shaking In My Boots Yet.

2007-01-02T20:58:00.001-05:00

I had enough of the two week headache this morning, so I made an appointment with my Doctor. He's unavailable until tomorrow, so I went to the emergency ward to see if anything could be done. I'm not sure if I made the right choice. I arrived at 10 AM and left about 7:30 PM. It was a long droll day.

After the bloodletting and waiting, and CAT scanning and waiting, the good doctors at the hospital were unable to figure out what was wrong with me. I don't have glaucoma. (Probably smoked enough weed to prevent that!) The CT scan was clear, so I don't have a brain tumour. My blood pressure is OK, and the chemistry looks good too. I've just had a headache for the last couple of weeks since my cold ended, and I've got blurred vision too.

When all is said and done, I still feel crappy, but at least I don't have anything terribly wrong that the doctors can pinpoint at this stage in the game. I am going to visit the eye specialist in the morning to see what his perspective is.

The neat thing (if I can use that expression) about the whole ordeal is that my right eye doesn't respond to light the same way the left one does. The pupil dilates and contracts in response to light, but not as much or as quickly as the left one. They should operate somewhat in tandem. but that isn't the case. I approach these sorts of things dispassionately, so I can remain objective. I think I'll start being frightened if the doctor tells me that I've got to get my affairs in order. If I've got some kind of critical illness, that's when it will be time to worry. Until then, it's just another medical mystery.

Boxing Day Mountain Tour

2006-12-26T20:15:00.000-05:00

Mum and I set out on a mountain tour this afternoon. There was not much snow to speak of on top of the escarpment, and the rain wasn't pelting down too hard, so we figured we would take an opportunity to ramble around the backroads. We ended up at the Epping Swamp. You'll see that the river is completely ice free and the water level is up pretty high. It was grey and crappy, but at least it was better than staying at home listening to Mikhail Stephanovich griping about Sympatico's lousy tech support.

Grendel has the Xmas Spirit

2006-12-22T15:24:00.000-05:00

Merry Xmas Everyone!

Grendel made me go over to the market for one of those stinky smoked bones for his girlfriend Dingo. Unfortunately, she's definitely getting a lump of coal in her stocking. Just prior to the Yule Dinner, Dingo helped herself to the entire pork roast thawing on the kitchen counter. The crazy bitch gorged on about 40 bucks worth of meat, and paid for it dearly with a stomach ache that wouldn't quit.

Of course Grendel didn't know this when I popped the stinky bone in a paper bag and labeled it. He's just in a generous mood. Even now, I'm sure Grendel is looking forward to giving Sassinak a kiss for Christmas.

I hope everyone has a good holiday and has the chance to kick back and relax. Best wishes from Grendel, PJ and I. Hopefully Dingo will get out of the doghouse, figuratively speaking, and enjoy Grendel's largesse.

Saint Nick is leaving a lump of coal in your stocking!

2006-12-17T02:11:00.000-05:00

The Eaton Center is festooned with lights and the jeweller has decorated this humungous tree with thousands of crystals. It's all sparkly and dazzling. St. Nick is coming to town in just over a week, so make sure you keep the negatives away from the men in black suits who help Santa with his infamous list.

Stephen Harper vs Stephane Dion

2006-12-05T23:45:00.001-05:00

There are two guys named Steve running the government and the loyal opposition. I wonder if that has ever happened before?

Every time I read the news, I get a bit annoyed with the current Prime Minister and his snivelling caucus. They've held power for almost a year, and they are still behaving like they're still in opposition. It appears that all they know how to do is attack the previous government's record, dismantle positive programs and float ridiculous trial balloons.

They talk the good talk about an inclusive society, but they're busy dismantling the offices of the Status of Women's organization. They talk about fairness, but they're curtailing legal aid programs on a massive scale. They are disingenuously raising a motion to reopen the same-sex marriage debate for no other reason than to gain political points among their power base. They have dropped the ball when it comes to following through on the Kyoto Protocol. I could go on, but the foam coming from my mouth might damage my computer keyboard.

Don't these guys know they have a minority government? The good people of Ontario could tell the rest of Canada what kind of damage these neo-conservatives can do. The current Finance Minister and Chairman of the Treasury Board were both hatchet men for a thug named Mike Harris, who did an incredible amount of damage to our province.

I spent part of the day last Saturday watching the Liberal Party leadership contest unfold, and Stephane Dion has appeared like a breath of fresh air on the political landscape. He's got smarts and experience. He has remained unscathed by the sponsorship scandal, and most importantly, he's a devoted environmentalist. Compared to the current Prime Minister, he has already shown his ability to lead by example rather than micro managing his caucus. This is the exact opposite of Stephen Harper. The return of the Liberal Party to power in Canada can't come a moment too soon here, because our government is an embarrassment at best, and more likely a looming disaster at worst.

Wasting Gasoline

2006-12-03T19:45:00.000-05:00

I feel so guilty when I hop in the car and drive aimlessly for a few hours. But, a man's gotta do what he's gotta do. I take the public transit enough that I can justify a sunday drive once in a while. We passed by Archy's place, but his humans had company so we kept on truckin'. Besides, we didn't have Grendel along for the ride. Eventually, Sass and I ended up in Manilla, ON for some ice cream. I had two scoops of "moose tracks" while Sass had a scoop of some deadly chocolate, and the moosey stuff. We're Canadian, so it's quite alright to eat ice cream while there are snow flurries whirling about in the air.

We followed the rising moon until we were north of Lake Scugog somewhere, and then we turned around to head back into the city. It was a pleasant afternoon of rambling and rubbernecking. The best part is, the trees are bare, and we could see for miles. The fall colours are long gone and the earth is laid bare before our eyes.

Homecoming Anniversary

2006-12-03T10:52:00.000-05:00

The little fugger has been here for a year. Last december 3rd he parted company with Rosie and Paco and the humans who raised him to come to our fair city. It's been quite an adventure for him: living with Spot, obedience school, walking the streets of Toronto, meeting many other dogs and cats, befriending Archy up on the farm. He's resting under PJ's duvet, but his eyes are open and he's ready for another day.

I'm disgusted now.

2006-11-27T23:34:00.000-05:00

There's a busy intersection a small block east of Yonge St on King St. It's right across from the King Edward Hotel. Lots of traffic, and even more pedestrians. Caution is always a good policy.

This afternoon, while on my way home, I saw a guy pull a hasty left turn from King St. onto the side street, and he nearly hit a young woman with his car. She was on her way to the subway from the college campus down the street. She was surrounded by several of her friends, so it's not like she was isolated or hard to see. The knuckleheaded driver was just too impatient to play it safe.

Fortunately she wasn't hit by the car. The worst part of the whole incident was when she yelled at him for making such a close call. He stopped, rolled down his window a crack to hear what the woman had to say. I figured he was taking his lumps like a man. I was wrong.

The bugger had the audacity to laugh at this poor woman, as if her safety wasn't any of his concern. He was quite amused at the fact that he had frightened a pant-load out of her. I walked around the back of his car to hear this sickening exchange. It's one of those times when I wish I had a few seconds extra to evaluate the situation. I would have planted my boot on his car to leave him a reminder that you shouldn't mess with pedestrians. A few hundred dollars of damage to his car would have taught him a lesson.

I hope that Toronto's finest catch up with him someday, and yank his license... after they kick his ass.

HOWTO : Get Back At Sony For DRM’in Your Music

2006-11-26T18:22:00.000-05:00

1. Write this on the biggest rock or brick that you can lift -

“BY ACCEPTING THIS BRICK THROUGH YOUR WINDOW, YOU ACCEPT IT AS IS AND AGREE TO MY DISCLAIMER OF ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, AS WELL AS DISCLAIMERS OF ALL LIABILITY, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL OR INCIDENTAL, THAT MAY ARISE FROM THE INSTALLATION OF THIS DEVICE INTO YOUR BUILDING.”

2. And then hurl it through the window of a Sony officer.

3. and run like hell.

Source - Bash.org

*****

I couldn't help myself. This little tidbit is worth reprinting. I dislike the idea of DRM. What ever happened to the notion of trust? If I like the music, I'll purchase a legitimate copy. This little HOWTO is a reprint, and I'm only passing it on. Be suspicious of the companies that sell you music media and limit your ability to use it fairly.

Late Thanxgiving

2006-11-26T13:20:00.000-05:00

Hubris extended an invitation to celebrate the American Thanksgiving at his place this year. His mum, dad and sister made the long trek from the USA, and a gang of local friends made an appearance too. It was an opportunity not to be missed. As I was away from Canada during our own thanksgiving celebrations this year, I'm glad Hubris put out the effort, because there's nothing better than a top-notch roast turkey dinner with all the trimmings.

While Hubris put the finishing touches on the dumb flightless bird, we spent a few minutes enjoying the view from the beehive balcony. Thirty stories of elevation gives quite a perspective on our fair city. You can see all the way from St. James Town all the way to the Humber Bay to the west. Looking south, the entirety of the Toronto Island and the downtown are framed by Lake Ontario and the Niagara Escarpment on the horizon. If you're intrepid enough to lean a small bit over the railing, you can see the end of the Leslie St. spit. If you're blessed with clear weather, it's likely that you can see the lights of Rochester NY far off to the south east.

Once we got over the marvelous view, we sat down to a delicious, and voluminous meal. We started out with Sassinak's veggie and fruit salad. We quickly followed with Mighty Doll's pumpkin bread, and Hubris' potato soup. Finally we had the roasted dumb flightless bird, complete with stuffing. Hubris turns out to be a regular Martha Stewart, without the wealth and the attitude of course. Ultimately, we had PJ and Lily's pumpkin pies festooned with whipped cream for dessert. Of course there were many beers and whiskey sours to slake our thirst.

MC and B, the Mighty Doll's kids treated the rest of us to an amusing and unscripted shadow puppet show before they were hustled off to bed. There was much general hilarity, and even the Dingo got into the act. There's nothing like a little dinner theatre to liven things up.

After a massive pig out like this, it's not unusual to hear exclamations of discomfort and feigned regret about eating too much. As we sat down to a strange card game called Shanghai rummy, Hubris' dad turned out to be a well fed jamtart. Mr. D. promptly found a comfortable spot on the futon couch, and nodded off, while the rest of us hurled barbs and insults at him to no avail. The cards flew around the table amidst the laughter, while the Dingo, and Mr. D happily snored side by side.

It was grand. As much as we Canadians love to whimper about our brash American neighbours, I am glad to know some of them, because I got a Thanksgiving dinner after all this year. As dinners go, this one was worth every excess calorie.

Starting A New Band

2006-11-19T21:00:00.000-05:00

I just spent the afternoon at Hubris' place. We mangled some shelving, and more importantly, we found a few minutes to pull out our geetars. Y'see, we're starting a new musical endeavor with Handsome Jack. We'll have to keep Susan and Sassinak in mind when we need some percussion. For now, we're a three guitar band with not a whole lot of repertoire or ideas going for us.

Consider the fact that I'm not much of a guitarist, Hubris is just starting out, and HJ has played a fair bit in the past, but she's currently rusty. I think we all have an equal footing. It should prove to be a pleasant challenge to find a bunch of songs that we can all play without fumbling around the fretboard too much. It's going to be awesome.... someday.

Most people would be a little scared at the prospect, but to tell the truth, I'm quite excited. I don't get a lot of opportunities to play the guitar. I do my fair share of singing at the Thursday night jams, but I could always get more practice. The combination of the two is going to be really daunting, but I'm up for the challenge.

The biggest hurdle will be to get up to speed with enough tunes, quickly enough that we don't get discouraged and pack it in. Hubris and Jack have never met before, but that isn't an issue. They're both civilized and sociable adults with their humour intact, and they're as eager as I am to get this thing off the ground.

We already have a band name, so the worst part of the job is over. It's gonna be called LMN, after our first initials. Until something better comes along, I'm happy with that. Let the jams begin. I'll keep you posted when we've got something to show for our efforts, like a recording or a gig.

Rock and roll will never die. It will just have to get out for Pilates classes, and some regular exercise.

Grendel, The Crusher of Bones

2006-11-12T21:20:00.000-05:00

The little fugger has hit the motherlode. I went to see the newfie butcher at the market, and while I was purchasing some victuals for myself, I happened upon this large bone. I always figure it's good form to share the wealth, so I forked over an extra two bucks on the wee canine's behalf.

Groovin' In Row J

2006-11-10T23:45:00.000-05:00

I just got home from Massey Hall, where I spent an awesome evening in the company of my pal. We were fortunate enough to get tickets to hear Los Lobos, my second favourite rock band. Crazy Socks or Earl Jam, or whatever it is we call our own band this week is still my favourite. Los Lobos is pretty darn good though.

Los Lobos has been cranking out excellent records for a few decades now, and I've purchased as many of them as I can get. Despite my great admiration for their songwriting and playing, this is the first occasion for me to hear them perform on stage. After playing and recording together for over thirty years, the rapport these guys have is nothing short of astounding.

The original quintet has grown to a sextet on account of the drummer switching instruments and taking up guitar. They've hired a new drummer to take over while the band lets fly with a barrage of three guitars, bass, and saxophone. As my long lost Uncle Steve says "lewd pulsating rhythms!" They can play anything they set their mind to, from heavy rock and blues to straight up Latin music. Cesar Rosas, the lead guitarist misheard an audience member and thought he heard "Freddy Fender" being yelled to him. With that prompting, he crossed himself, and led the band through a rendition of "Wasted Days and Wasted Nights." It came as a complete shock to the band, and the audience too, but it certainly showed the group's versatility.

By the end of the night, the usually stoic, but always appreciative Toronto audience was dancing in the aisles, and several dozens joined the band dancing on stage. It's nice to know that some of us still have it in us to enjoy a good rock show. I even smelled the fragrance from someone's doobie a few rows behind me.

Viva Los Lobos and props to the backup band Blackie and the Rodeo Kings. May the good tunes keep coming for another few decades.

Good News from US

2006-11-08T10:08:00.000-05:00

Our American neighbours have finally come to their senses, and the results are mostly in for the mid-term elections.

I think the world can heave a sigh of relief now that George W. Bush and his henchmen have been soundly defeated in the Congress. It looks like the Senate may have a Democratic Party majority too. With a few cliff hangers yet to be decided, the verdict isn't in, but it appears that the good people of the USA have repudiated the Neo-Cons and their disastrous policies.

I am always puzzled by the state of politics in the USA. Whenever they elect someone like Reagan, or Bush (both father and son) the rest of the world shakes their collective heads and wonders why the citizenry of the USA could be so silly. At the same time, the citizens of the USA have an unseemly reverence for these characters. I suppose it's a good thing for Republicans that the Presidency of the USA is not a globally held election. Otherwise these men would never have been elected.

With this good news, now all we have to do is get rid of the Conservative Party of Canada next year, and things will take a turn for the better. Now we're a step behind the USA, and we need to catch up. Stephen Harper had better watch out, because he's next.

Kid In The Candy Store

2006-11-04T18:01:00.000-05:00

Am I ever excited. I'm off to Toronto's venerable Massey Hall to hear the Afro Cuban All Stars. Led by Juan de Marcos Gonzalez, they are one of the world's leading exponents of Cuban Big Band Music. It's a rich, luscious blend of horns, piano, bass and percussion. It's rhythmically sophisticated and innately danceable at the same time. Despite the complexity of form, it's captivating and direct music.

The All Stars play a fairly traditional style of Cuban music, if you consider something dating from the forties and fifties as traditional. The style dates back to the big band era in the States, and Canada. The Cubans adopted the big band form, and put their own thumbprint on it. The Cuban forms have exerted an influence in jazz and popular music well beyond their borders since they adopted the big band form.

Dizzy Gillespie is largely responsible for introducing the Cuban sound to the world, and owes him a dept for this wonderful introduction. Since this revelation in the mid forties, Cuban music has changed just like everyone else's music. It's only natural. In the early nineties Juan de Marcos Gonzalez tried to track down some of the stars of Cuban music from their big band era. The end result was the justifiably famous Buena Vista Social Club. Ry Cooder certainly had a big hand in it too, but it's largely Gonzalez leadership that made the project possible.

The rest is history as they say. Since then, Gonzalez has been leading his own big bands on tours around the world breathing new life into the now classic sound of Cuban big band music. The old tunes are respectfully performed along with new tunes that complement them. Cuba's present isolation from the world is something that is passing, and fortunately for us, we're getting a glimpse into the heart of Cuban culture and especially their excellent music.

Happy Samhain Everyone

2006-10-31T20:40:00.000-05:00

I live in a truly amazing town. On any day, I can hear any one of dozens of languages spoken. With it, I also catch wind of several new year's celebrations. There's our own western European calendar that starts on Jan 1. After that, many other folks who have found their way to Toronto celebrate their new year too.

Today is one of those new years. What we now know as Hallowe'en was once called Samhain (pronounced as sa-wain), the Celtic New Year. The Celts believed that the veil separating the everyday mortal world from the spirit world was thinnest after the harvest, and winter began setting in. It's an auspicious time to communicate with all the weirdness that lurks beneath the surface, and deal with it effectively. Of course we all know that the Christians kinda borrowed the original pagan notions, and made November 1 their All Saints Day. I suppose it is respectful to the older traditions to recycle the intent of the holiday rather than obliterate it.

I've always enjoyed Hallowe'en for the merriment and all the sweet stuff. Perhaps a little less of the sweet stuff as I get older, but hey, we can all use some merriment. And I don't mind the idea that modern pagans have tried to reconstitute the ancient Celtic traditions either. We'll never know exactly how the Celts really brought in the new year, but why not tip our hat to a culture that covered all of Europe well before the Greeks and Romans came along. It seems to me that a culture that ancient deserves its own new year too.

With that, I'd like to wish everyone a happy Samhain, and a prosperous new year. Make sure there are no demons in your life. You can get rid of them by disguising yourself and running around like an eejit to frighten them off.

2006-10-29T22:49:00.000-05:00

Another tropical flower from the ruins at Tulum. The weather here in Toronto is turning cool, and my thoughts keep drifting back to the Riviera Maya.

Baby Needs New Shoes

2006-10-28T01:33:00.000-04:00

Grendel, PJ and I wandered over to the pet shop to buy some doggy boots. It's getting chilly at night when I walk the little fugger, and his paws get a bit cold. As well, the snow is coming, and with it, the road salt. It's best to be prepared for the Canadian winter, especially when you have a dog with a tropical pedigree.

We all had a good laugh (except for Grendel) when the boots were on. The wee canine commenced to high step and kick in an attempt to get these new annoyances off. Grendel was quite a site with his legs going in every direction. The soundtrack will feature three possible tunes:"These Boots Are Made For Walking", "Walk This Way", or "Walking The Dog." This behavior is so ridiculous, that I will do my utmost to get it on video for everyone.

I'm only 35% sketchy. I think that's a good thing.

2006-10-28T01:10:00.000-04:00

Your Sketchiness Factor

You are 35% Sketchy

How Sketchy Are You?

Subconscious Mind Collective Grind

2006-10-19T23:59:00.000-04:00

Most of my friends know that I'm pretty dedicated when it comes to playing my sax. It's been an almost weekly event for the last 13 years with a brief sabbatical to play scrabble when Peach was ill. I suspect that after that length of time, most people would get pretty bored with the same thing week in and week out. Not me.

It's something that keeps getting better all the time. The variety of material is still a lot of the same stuff, but there are always a few new numbers to replace some of the tired old tunes that we've abused for a bit too long. What does vary is the chemistry and interaction that we have as a group. We're assembling something where the whole is greater than the sum of it's parts.

We're an unconventional sounding group because our instrumentation is a bit odd. What immediately sets our band apart is the pair of djembe players instead of a standard kit drummer. Sass and Sue hold it all together. The best part of this arrangement is that the two hand drummers have no choice but to invent something new to do, because it's impossible for them to replicate the sound of a drum kit. The ground rules are instantly thrown out the window. It gets better.

Every rock band usually has a bitchen geetarist, and that's my pal EM. We've been jamming since I met him 20 or 21 years ago. On and off, he's been the most frequent guitarist in the same room as me. The rapport that he and I have is pretty incredible. We're both able to read each other pretty closely, and it's like a little puzzle to make something up that fits what the other is doing. The two of us know a whole bunch of tunes, and we like to rearrange everything ex tempore.

The last member of the quintet is Lari. He plays the electric bass. He's got a great ear that serves him well. He's not a really technically oriented player, but he always manages to think up a part that keeps the whole thing grounded and solid. He usually plays more guitar, but he keeps getting better all the time on the bass. Between his offbeat humour and his playing, he makes sure no one is at a loss.

The current edition of the band has been together over two years now, and this particular group has something that I've never had in a lot of other musical situations. There's a kind of chemistry that we've got that none of the other bands I've been in have had. Maybe I'm stooping to superlatives, but they're worth using. It's really that good. The subconscious mind is always working on the things we encounter, and the collective mind takes over when we get started every Thursday evening. The quality of the sound we produce seems to get better every week, and it seems that everyone puts their utmost into it.

I think I'd lose my grip if I didn't jam every week, and the only thing that could improve the situation would be having Lividviv around to augment the racket. Rock and roll will never die. It will just need to quit drinking so much and get some occasional fresh air.

Long live Thursdays.

2006-10-17T23:51:00.000-04:00

Bright sun and no shades. Here are the two macaws on the job, helping fleece the gringo and take his hard earned pesos in exchange for some contrived photos. I was rather amazed at how gentle these birds were. They both enjoyed pulling my hair a bit with their beaks, but they were otherwise on their best behaviour.

2006-10-17T20:15:00.000-04:00

I couldn't say it better myself. This year's vacation was wonderful.

2006-10-17T20:01:00.000-04:00

The Caribbean Sea looking east towards Cuba 250 miles away.

2006-10-17T19:58:00.000-04:00

Five books, lots of cerveza, a nice suntan, and an excursion to the Mayan ruins of Tulum, all starting from my central headquarters at Bahia Principe Tulum.

2006-10-17T19:54:00.000-04:00

These pretty macaws were on staff at the resort. Some humans made the rounds and took photographs with the guests that you could purchase for a few pesos. I have a couple taken myself. The scanner isn't hooked up, so you'll have to be content with my own photograph. The macaws were quite docile and didn't balk at being handled by anyone. Normally I'd be concerned about having all 10 fingers after handling a bird with a beak like that, but not in this case.

2006-10-17T19:49:00.000-04:00

Part of the waiter's duties at the Mexican restaurant is to humiliate the guests with these garishly decorated sombreros. That and the wicked shot of tecquila I had a few seconds before this picture was taken made the cerveza go down quite nicely. Dos Equis Por Favor.

2006-10-17T19:45:00.000-04:00

Some Mexican plant porn. This lovely flower was growing at Tulum. I think it's a gardenia, but I'm not a botanist or a gardener, so what do I know?

Keep Breathing or Drop Dead

2006-10-16T22:59:00.000-04:00

During my high school days, my choral music teacher mentioned that there were people out there who taught breathing. All of us in the class thought he was a little bit weird at the best of times, and promptly dismissed this information. We all figured that we were breathing already, and didn't need the expertise of professionals to help out. After all, none of us were collapsing and gasping for want of breath. Our lungs worked just fine as far as we could tell. Our teacher was always a little bit out in left field, and a lot of what he said was considered nonsense. Despite this, his statement stuck in the back of my mind for some reason.

Little did I realize that over 25 years later I would actually meet one of these experts and become enthralled with breathwork. As a lot of you may know, my pal Sassinak is a pilates teacher. She introduced me to the concepts of coordinating movement with breath when she took me on as her guinea pig during her teacher training. It has been a while since Sassinak has given me a pilates class, but that hasn't stopped me from pursuing it on my own. I found Sass' teachers, and have fallen in with them in a big way. One of the women who taught Sassinak is an eastern European who runs her own studio in the west end of town. Not only does she teach pilates, but she also teaches classes with a focus on breathwork. An eccentric music teacher from my distant past has led me full circle to an eccentric body and breathwork teacher in the present day.

Consider this: since I started pilates three years ago I've had the pleasure of improving my fitness level by a considerable amount. I've also suffered from perhaps one cold in the past three years. My backaches have all but vanished. I have gone from being sidelined one or two days per month with a screwed up back to a minor twinge once in a while that doesn't last for more than a few minutes. As a musician, my ability to sing and play my horn has improved by a noticeable amount. I no longer have to gasp for air at the end of a particularly ornate passage. I would say my vocal range has increased by a fifth at least. To me, these are all tangible and welcome results.

In the last few months I've started going to more of my teacher's breathwork classes, and she has taught me some amazing things. The physical aspects of pilates are all good, but there's a kind of static form that you have to adopt. There are right ways, and wrong ways to do pilates, and that's it. With the classes that she calls "Fluid Body", there are many more possibilities. I've discovered that sound and breath can be used to effect changes that go well beyond the exercises prescribed by Joseph Pilates and his followers. Various humming and other vocal sounds coupled with breathing exercises can help make some radical shifts in your physical and mental state. If you observed it, you would think the participants have lost their marbles.

This work is certainly esoteric, and I suspect you might think I'm a little bit loony to expound on the matter, but I speak from personal experience. You may even think, like our high school music class that your breathing and body are adequate. I have found out that my original skepticism from my high school days is unfounded, and even the wackiest sounding ideas might have a grain of truth to them. It doesn't pay to dismiss any idea out of hand until you've investigated the matter and found out for yourself. By all means, hang onto your skepticism, but make sure you find out the facts for yourself before you write anything off. And, please, keep breathing as long as you can. It's good for you.

The Mayan City on the Yucutan Coast

2006-10-16T21:30:00.000-04:00

As promised, here are a couple of pictures from Tulum, the Mayan City that I visited last week.

This Iguana is Bigger Than Grendel!

2006-10-15T10:09:00.000-04:00

This handsome fellow lived near our hacienda at the resort. Instead of squirrels roaming the lawns, they have iguanas in Mexico. They were everywhere.

Tulum or bust

2006-10-11T14:23:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone. PJ and I just got back from Tulum, a Mayan ruin on the coast of the Yucutan peninsula. We were ably guided by a knowledgeable fellow named Angel. He pointed out all of the salient bits and explained the history of the city.

Tulum was a small center of commerce and religeous worship during the classical period, and fell into decline after the ninth century AD. I will be sure to post some pictures upon my return to Canada so you can have a peek.

If you ever get a chance to come to the Riviera Maya, it is well worth visiting. It is a little less famous than Chichen Itza, but it is closer to all of the resorts on the coast. I'm inclined to be quite lazy this time out. I didn´t want to endure a two hour bus ride to get to Chichen Itza, so Tulum will have to suffice.

I´m off to the pool for a few cervezas and a swim. Hasta la vista blogfans.

2006-10-07T04:52:00.000-04:00

Grendel went to visit Archy again, and they had a grand time romping in the barnyard. I just figured you'd like to know.

The little fugger is 1 year old

2006-10-03T08:00:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday To You
Bappy Birthday you little eejit...

Happy Birthday to you!

Oh No! Have I Mutated Into Paris Hilton?

2006-09-29T12:45:00.000-04:00

I don't mind Paris Hilton that much. She's very good at being famous for no apparent reason. Aside from the fact she has an amazing amount of filthy lucre, the only thing that really irks me about Paris is the way she totes her damn chihuahua around like a bloody accessory. I'd be surprised if that dog even knows how to walk when it isn't cradled in her arms. I swore that I'd never subject my chihuahua to the indignity of being a spoiled lapdog.

The paperguy insisted that if he saw Grendel wearing a cutesy outfit, he would disavow any knowledge of my existence. Then, he said he'd kick my ass. I might have to watch my back because I've had to go buy some new threads for Grendel.

The little fugger has hit a gargantuan 4.3 kilograms. For you imperial measure folks, that's 9.5 pounds. When you don't have a lot of body mass, the chilly evenings of the Canadian fall means you've got to bundle up if you want to go outside. In the interest of seeing my canine pal have an outdoor life, we went to the local pet shop to find a jacket for him. It's a sharp looking red nylon shell lined with fleece that wraps around his chest and his thorax with velcro fasteners. It has the added bonus of reflective strips for visibility at night. It keeps him warm when the air is cool, and he can still get out for a walk. Not such a bad deal for a short haired Canadian canine.

I was brought up with the standard masculine conceits regarding an acceptable size for a dog, and Grendel doesn't fit the bill. Even Sassinak's cats are bigger. What really sets me off now is how obvious my dog is. He's decked out in bright red, and the jingling of his rabies tag makes sure everyone notices him despite the fact he's only 2 hands tall at the shoulder. It's painfully obvious that I've got to make some mental adjustments now, because I'm on that slippery slope. Despite my better judgement, I'm stuck with a chihuahua and cutesy dog outfits.

I hope the paperguy doesn't keep his word. I promise not to get any hats for Grendel. That should be acceptable middle ground, and defray any tensions that Grendel's couture might cause. At least I'm not famous for nothing. I'm not famous at all, and Grendel still knows how to walk.

Great Music of the Sixties

2006-09-25T16:05:00.000-04:00

Those of us who are old enough to remember the sixties can all think fondly of the music scene from those days. I hear lots of people talk about the "magic" of the era, and how they miss the creativity that was so prominent in the music of the day. They also lament the corporatization of the music scene since then. Enough pundits have written about the changing state of music but I'm not going to yap about that.

While I am old enough to remember the sixties, I would be stretching it a bit to say I was a participant in any way. I was on the sidelines, looking in, while others took part in the revolution that was unfolding. My brother Mikhail Stephanovich might be able to make more of a claim, but even he was a little young at the end of the sixties.

Some of the heaviest live music that I ever heard during the sixties was actually performed in my parent's kitchen at their hugely successful and usually raucous St. Patrick's Day parties. Mr. Bignall, and Mr. Hornby used to come over with their accordion and fiddle respectively, and would give a lesson in how to play anything they set their minds to. My brothers and I would be sent upstairs once the party got into full swing. Despite the less than subtle hint that sleeping would be in our best interest, we huddled around the hole in the second floor that used to accommodate a stove pipe and listened. The stovepipe hole was conveniently located above the kitchen, where all Canadian parties are centered. Living rooms don't really get lived in. It's a terrible misnomer. Kitchens are where it's at.

Mr. Bignall was a usually cantankerous old fellow who lived next door to us, and to avoid any acrimony, my dad would invite him to the party. It wasn't a bad thing that he was also an amazing musician who literally had hundreds of tunes under his fingers. Mr. Bignall would take up his perch in the kitchen, ostensibly within reach of the fridge, if my memory serves, and let fly with his squeezebox. Mr. Hornby would be right at his side keeping pace on his fiddle. What a glorious racket they made. To my young ears, it sounded like Zeus throwing lightning bolts from atop Mount Olympus.

What I remember most about the famous, and now defunct St. Paddy's soirees is that these two men could play almost anything requested of them. As my parents and their friends got into the sauce, they would request one tune after another, and it was a rare thing for the two musicians to say they didn't know it. They would usually dive in and do their best to accommodate the revellers with some rendition of the tune. To my young mind, Mr. Bignall and Mr. Hornby were geniuses, and nothing was beyond them. They would play all night, and the record player rarely saw any action if they could help it.

I was in awe. It was the sixties, and it seemed that music was something anyone could play if they set their mind to it. The general impression was that it had nothing to do with talent, and everything to do with passion and enthusiasm. My brother Mike and his pal Rob were infected by that particular sixties disease called Beatlemania, and both took up the guitar with varying degrees of success. Rob is still a happening musician to this day. Even though the majority of what Mr. Bignall and Mr. Hornby played was not rock music, they were still doing their own thing and they made it up as they went along, just like good rock musicians are inclined to do. They were old geezers when I was a little pipsqueak, but even so, they would even try their hand at a rock and roll tune once in a while. I'm sure my exposure to this creativity had something to do with my love of music.

Music and improvisation are in my blood, as I have since discovered, and I have done my best to emulate Mr. Bignall and Mr. Hornby. I certainly don't play the same tunes they did, but their sense of play and lack of fear have rubbed off on me. There's no point worrying too much about the shine on the finished product when the solid framework will suffice. I've never been too shy to try almost anything when I've got my horn in hand, and that's the way it should be.

Mr. Bignall, and Mr. Hornby are no longer with us, but their legacy lives on. A whole new generation of musicians have taken their place and it's a grand thing. We're doing exactly what they did in my mum and dad's kitchen: we stand our ground and show no fear. When you've got a musical instrument in your hands, that's how it's done.

Rock and Roll will never die. It will just need some glucosamine sulfate, and
some high fibre snacks.

Late Response to a blog tag

2006-09-22T22:10:00.000-04:00

Here's a list of Blog Tag that Sassinak fired at me a few weeks back. It's overdue, but at least I've mustered the courage to finish it up and bare my soul. I tag Handsome Jack, and if Jollyreid ever starts a blog, she's tagged too.

1. Things that scare me.

Cancer
Unchecked pollution
neoconservatives

2. People who make me laugh.

The Paperguy
Hubris
in fact, most of my friends
neoconservatives

3. Things I hate most.

litterbugs
Bitchy People (especially when I'm one of them)
neoconservatives

4. Things I don't understand.

Suicide Bombers
Depleted Uranium based weapons
neoconservatives (I detect a theme)

5. Things I'm doing right now.

Listening to some music
Playing with Grendel
Laundry

6. Things I want to do before I die.

Lead my own band
Hike the entire Bruce Trail
Drive across Canada
Stop being mildly paranoid
Learn to be more patient

7. Things I can do.

Play saxophone
Fix computers
Breathe

8. Ways to describe my personality.

Alternately quiet and introspective to gregarious and outgoing. Manic

9. Things I can't do. (yet)

Write a novel
Brain Surgery
Tolerate ignorance

10. Things I think you should listen to.

JS Bach's Mass in B Minor
Deer Wan by Kenny Wheeler
Free Jazz by Ornette Coleman
Your own heart

11. Things you should never listen to.

Britney Whatshername
Paris Hilton
Kenny G
neoconservatives

12. Things I'd like to learn.

How to play piano
Live off the land

13. Favorite foods.

Sushi
Eggs Benedict
Korean BBQ

14. Beverages I drink regularly.

Coffee/Tea
Beer
Whiskey
Water

15. Shows I watched as a kid.

The Tommy Hunter Show (Canada's Country Gentleman)
Get Smart
Hockey Night in Canada
The Friendly Giant
The FBI

***

2 moments in your life you'd like to erase

Only two? Getting married and getting arrested. Not sure which was worse, but I think it was getting arrested. Jane Rat wasn't that bad.

4 moments you'd like to relive:

I'm content having lived most moments once. There are some things I'd like to do again, but reliving previous things is a little redundant if your memory is intact. The memory might be better than the original event.

2 places you wouldn't want to go to/go to again:

Riyadh
Calgary

4 places you can't wait to visit/visit again

Jeez... only four....
Dublin
Iqaluit
Ottawa
New Orleans

2 foods you can't stand:

Fried Liver
Overcooked beef

4 foods you love:

If there are only four I can mention here goes:
Sushi
Rare Filet Mignon
Baked Ham
Pollo Relleno

2 current songs that make you change the station:

What's current? I don't listen to radio because it's either annoying or banal.
I'm in agreement with Sassinak on this one.

4 records you play over and over:

Cassandra Wilson's new CD
Discipline by King Crimson
Brandenburg Concerto #5 (especially the version by Musica Antiqua Koln)
Uninvisible by Medeski Martin and Wood

2 books you'd never finish/read again:

I once read a book by Rush Lumbaugh. What an asshole!
Worlds in Collision by Velikovsky. What an asshole!

4 books you have read more than once, and/or will read again:

Crime and Punishment by Dostoyevsky
100 Years of Solitude by Marquez
The Beginners Guide to Constructing the Universe
The Creators by Daniel Boorstin

How did that get there ?

2006-09-18T00:10:00.000-04:00

I know what you're thinking. Another pretty sunset taken with a fuzzy camera. Big fargin' deal you say. I have reason to disagree, and here's why:

PJ took this picture on the shores of the Irish Sea, near Douglas, on the Isle of Man with his cell phone camera. From there, he sent the picture to the Manx cell phone network, which likely connects with the much larger network in either England or Scotland. From there, the image probably got funneled onto a satellite, and sent across the Atlantic to another satellite closer to Toronto. It eventually wound it's way onto the Fido network here in Canada, where it finally landed in my back pocket. It tickled.

That's pretty nifty if you ask me. What's even more amazing about this sort of transaction is that we take it for granted. You have to devote a bit of thought to the underlying complexity of taking a picture thousands of miles away and sending it home to really appreciate it. Otherwise, it's just another pretty sunset.

2006-09-12T19:28:00.000-04:00

Yep. That's me in my skivvies jumping into the water. As I said earlier, the water was inviting even though the air was cool. I eventually retreated from here because the bottom had too much rhubarb, but I did take a walk along Sue's pier. The sweet waters of Georgian Bay, my favourite lake to swim in. You can take the boy out of Collingworld, but you can't take Collingworld out of the boy.

2006-09-12T19:22:00.000-04:00

Puffballs in the forest.

2006-09-12T19:18:00.000-04:00

A pretty little moss patch that I found on the hike last weekend. The perspective here is a little weird because the darker green plants are only a few cm high, and the light green moss is carpeting the ground. It looks like a vast expanse because the camera was held at the top of the moss.

2006-09-12T19:14:00.000-04:00

Greetings from Ontario, The Land of Sparkling Water. This is the last shot I took before my batteries died while we were boating with Joe among the thirty thousand islands. I regret to inform you that I didn't get any pictures of Sass on the waterskis, because she was grinning like an idiot every inch of the way.

2006-09-12T19:10:00.000-04:00

A jewel flower at the roadside.

2006-09-12T19:07:00.000-04:00

Here's a portrait of me and the drum crew. We went for a lovely hike last weekend. I took lots of plant porn pictures and managed to jump in the lake twice. The air was cool, but the water was still inviting.

2006-09-06T15:14:00.000-04:00

Yours truly holding the six string nation geetar. This instrument was made using wood from dozens of important Canadian landmarks. You can get more information about it from sixstringnation.com

2006-09-04T22:28:00.000-04:00

Sassinak peeking out from her tent. It's a grey drizzly day, but it's all good because we're not watching the clock, and the only thing on the agenda is lazing around the campsite. Anyone for an Apple Juice?

2006-09-04T22:21:00.000-04:00

This is our four legged friend from the adjacent campsite. Sadie enjoyed a few brief visits, but my friendship was really solidified when I took her slobbery rubber ball and hurled it for her. She is a great enthusiast for a game of fetch.

2006-09-04T22:08:00.000-04:00

Damp and Happy. Another cuppa herbal tea to keep me cosy under the unrelenting green tarp.

2006-09-04T22:00:00.000-04:00

This particular maple had the loveliest pink hue while all the others were still quite green. It was one of the few trees that had turned already. It stood out amongst the rest of the trees in the campground because it had changed colours so soon. Fall is on the way, and it's only Labour Day.

2006-09-04T21:56:00.000-04:00

Big fungi growing at the base of a maple tree in the Guelph Lake conservation area. The largest of these is about 20cm across. They weren't there a month ago during the Hillside Festival. Not only are they quite large, but they grow pretty quickly too.

2006-09-04T21:47:00.000-04:00

Our view from under the tarp. We're looking at the west shore of Guelph Lake, past the willows and the cattails on our side. Not a bad vista, after a day and a half of looking at the polypropylene tarp material and horizontal rain.

Damp Campers

2006-09-04T17:31:00.000-04:00

Greetings everyone. Sass and I survived our foray this past weekend. Hurricane Ernesto didn't amount to a whole lot after all. We had gusts of wind, but my tenure as a boy scout held me in good stead. The shelters were rock solid, and the only thing that got dampened was our spirits when we realized that we weren't going for a swim.

We rolled into the conservation area about 6:30 pm on Friday, and we got our tents and shelter setup promptly. At that point we dived into our massive cache of food, and "ahem" apple juice. There was an alcohol ban in the campground, so we deemed our supplies Irish apple juice, Scottish apple juice, and French apple juice.

We found that a lot of folks either cancelled their plans to camp on account of the wet weather, or the park is largely empty at this point in the season. For whatever reason, we were quite isolated except for the pair of Hillsiders and their two dogs Bear and Sadie in the next campsite. Otherwise, there was no one around to disturb our tranquility. Sadie came by to visit a few times, and despite the fact she's a bitch, she proved to be quite friendly.

It was nice. I put my watch away on Friday, and didn't have to care what time it was until this morning when we had to break camp and leave. I enjoyed just sitting around, reading, drinking my "apple juice" and going for a few casual strolls through the park. It was about time.

Rocks in our heads

2006-09-01T08:39:00.000-04:00

I need my head examined. I can't speak for Sassinak, but I think she is as loony as I am. Sassinak and I are off and running to Guelph Lake for a weekend of relaxation and .... Hurricane Ernesto.

After my previous diatribe about NOT getting away, I have decided that I'm camping no matter what this weekend. Instead of an idyllic laze in the sun, with a few swims thrown in for good measure, it appears that Ernesto has other plans. The storm has made it's way north on the east coast of North America, and now it's Canada's turn for a good soaking.

All I can say is, there won't be any mosquitoes or flies to bother us if we do get the torrential rains. I've been to the market for food, and the cooler is already loaded with ice, so there's no way I'm canceling on account of a powerful but waning tropical storm.

I am sure to have an adventure story for you upon my return. Time to dust off the rainsuit.

Movin' with Hubris

2006-08-30T21:32:00.000-04:00

Like the old saying goes, "If you want to know who your friends are, move."

I guess I'm Hubris' only friend because we've got a cube van mostly loaded with all of his stuff, and it was only the two of us.

I'm sore from a few dozen trips up and down the stairs to his apartment. My hips are complaining big time, and we have to do more of the same tomorrow morning. Ow. The only consolation at this point in the game is the large belly full of delicious Chinese cuisine.

Hubris doesn't have friends at the telephone and internet companies for instance. Not only are they NOT helping him move, they're completely baffled by the idea that their customers actually change residences occasionally. The truck rental joint isn't much better. They told me on the phone that our truck would be available at 3 pm. As it is, we had to wait until 4:30 to drive off with the moving vehicle.

Oh well. Such is life. Most people scurry away like cockroaches when the kitchen light comes on at the mere mention of moving day. I don't mind helping out, but I feel too old for this merde any longer. I should stop being so friendly and leave this moving business to the younger crowd. But then again, if I wasn't helping Hubris move, I'd have nothing to complain about. It's a fair trade.

2006-08-24T18:00:00.000-04:00

Grendel is a wee conehead this week. He got a cut on his elbow, and he's been going after it a bit too much. He's healing nicely, so there's no need to worry.

Burp

2006-08-22T21:17:00.000-04:00

Baked tilapia with garlic and rosemary,
Long Grain Rice
Garden salad with raspberry vinaigrette dressing
Chateau Puyfromage 2003
and
Toronto tap water through a brita

What's not to like.

Huh?

2006-08-22T19:00:00.000-04:00

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

Must Escape

2006-08-22T16:49:00.000-04:00

What does a guy have to do to escape for a few days?

Every time I've attempted to have an extended long weekend this summer, I've gotten sidetracked and haven't been able to get away. The Hillside Festival doesn't count because I have to take on a part time job while I'm there. I'm talking about sitting on my ass and being able to do it for the whole four or five days. I was looking forward to hanging out with the Paperguy and his wife at one of the best beaches in Ontario. You think I could get away? Not a chance. To add insult to injury, the Paperguy called to tell me how much fun it was, and how I'd have been delighted with the reappearance of all sorts of wildlife in the park.

As for me, I got stuck in Toronto again. I drove north to Bracebridge for a day... to attend a funeral. I'm not griping about the funeral of course, because it's one of those things that you have to do. "If I don't go to your funeral, you'll probably skip mine!" It's just annoying to cancel long-awaited plans at the last minute due to familial obligations.

My partner is having all the fun traveling around the country these past few months, while I've been stuck in the city waiting for an opportunity to bugger off. So far, it's not happening. This self-employment thing is getting on my nerves. Microsoft Products don't really break on a set schedule. I've just got to be ready for the call whenever it comes. The fine hardware that MS products run on doesn't give me any warning either. The sound of my cell phone haunts me.

For once, I'd like to disappear without the worries. It's a never ending pain to make plans, and then have to change them at the last minute. I'm going to go mad if I have to cancel my labour day camp. I'm hoping to finally get to sit on my lazy ass and watch the grass grow. Is that too much to ask?

The most irritating thing about the self employment game is that I don't get paid if I try to have a life like regular folks. The economy abhors a vacuum, and someone else will take the job if I don't get to it. I read stories about the French getting four or five weeks per annum for vacation while us North Americans are happy to make do with two weeks or less. The incidence of stress related illness in France must be much less than it is here in Canada.

I'm going to sulk now and do some breathing exercises. See you on the beach!

2006-08-14T00:43:00.000-04:00

Leofest 2006. The post party garden raid, hosted by Hoot and featuring the BVSC, Othercat, and the Gals from Guelph.

Lunatics Abound

2006-08-09T16:59:00.000-04:00

I was enjoying a cup of decaf at Timothy's in the village. Grendel and I hooked up with Sassinak. We had just come from the Trinity Bellwoods park. We were watching the fire-breathers and listening to the throng hammer away at their drums. As I looked south, with my drink in hand, I saw the full Sturgeon moon just above the rooftops, and for the moment I couldn't think of the name that was bestowed on this particular full moon.

Thank goodness for the Farmer's Almanac. They're up on this sort of stuff, and I found the link to Full Moon Names page. It was bothering me that I couldn't remember the name. Everyone knows the Harvest Moon, but the other 12 or so full moons of the year are largely unknown. I suppose it's just another sign of our modern distance from the natural world. We don't observe things like our ancestors did.

My favourite example of this tendency is something my mum told me many years ago. In the Beaver Valley lies an abandoned stretch of road that went by the name of "The Mile of Seven Corners", not far from where my mum was born. The road has since been moved and straightened a bit, and the old name fades because we wouldn't bother to name it. We'd go flying by in our automobiles and perhaps we might notice that the road was winding a bit. During my mum's childhood however, the slower pace would have made everyone take notice. People observed things. People had time to look at the sky and the environment. It wasn't just a stretch of winding road. It had a descriptive name.

I'm thankful that I've inherited some observational skills from both my parents. My dad taught me to look at the world at large. Take in the big picture. I give him credit for my curiosity about the world at large. My mum, on the other hand has an eye for the little details. I have had the pleasure of hiking in the bush with her, and while it's a slow going process, we are rewarded by my mum's observations and recollection of a large number of the plant names along the trail. It's something we could stand to emulate rather than just dismissing things out of hand without looking at them closely. You probably know the old admonition to "stop and smell the roses."

When I am forgetful about the details, as I was last night, I catch myself and try to refresh my memory. Thank goodness I know enough to know that I don't know everything. The world is a fascinating place, and I wouldn't want it to pass me by, especially when it's so well lit by the Sturgeon Moon.

Spotticus Maximus 1991-2006

2006-08-08T17:30:00.000-04:00

The old feline has made her way to the Great Catnip Patch. After all the trials at the vet last month, Spot didn't really regain her usual lust for life. She stopped eating and only through the use of subcutaneous fluids were we able to keep her properly hydrated. She had a little bit of fight in her when it came to dealing with Grendel. The throaty growl of the aggrieved feline let us know that Spot was still in the game.

I'm much more bummed out than I thought I would be. Spot never really was much of a people oriented cat. She and I got along alright, but she didn't really warm to many other people and even less so to her two quadrupedal housemates. She never really liked the Othercat, and she certainly didn't like the wee canine. It took Spot years to like Sassinak Spot was just a little more choosy than the rest of us. Sass is a genuine cat-person, and it's easy for most people and animals to like her.

She had 15 healthy years, and she got some love and affection from me when she really needed it. I have been agonizing over the decision to part company with the old kitty for a while now, and no matter how much preparation you make, it's still a shock to see a once vibrant cat get old and sick. Despite her reserved and sometimes caustic nature, Spot was my pal.

We walk in the door to our homes, and the first thing we do is look for our pets. Where are they? Are they happy to see us? Do they give a damn? It really doesn't matter because at the end of the day, you've always got a friend if you've got a pet in your home. I still look for the Othercat and Strobelight and they've been gone for years. I am sure I will have visions of Spot lying in her favourite place for a while.

Spot, the Othercat, Strobelight, and Sandy, and all the other pets I've known have come and gone, and still a little piece of them is still around. Thank goodness for the persistence of fond memories, because that's all that's left now.

Adieu Spot, and thanx for the memories.

2006-07-31T16:57:00.000-04:00

Sun sets on the Volunteer camping at Hillside #23, but the thunderheads brewing in the sky above are still illuminated.

2006-07-31T16:56:00.000-04:00

Sassinak, Hubris, and I are all in need of a long soapy shower after hanging out at the Hillside Festival for the last 5 days. It's been a blast as usual, but you can only get so clean in the lake.

2006-07-26T08:20:00.000-04:00

Grendel looks a little bit puzzled. He's wondering why I'm just lying there when there are other dogs in the park. He's got an agenda, and sometimes it doesn't coincide with mine. He's such a dog.

Handsome Jack

2006-07-24T20:05:00.000-04:00

It appears that Whycocomagh has finally started her blog. I feel kinda brutish at the moment, because she's found herself a lovely blog layout, and she's written a profile for herself, and that's it. I've urged her to start a blog, because she's a writer, and usually has some pretty incisive things to say. Now that all the ground work is in place, her blog sits there with one sad little post with nothing in it.

Am I a secretly a bully? I sure hope not. Maybe bully is too strong a word, but there's a fine line between encouragement and bullying.

To make matters worse, I've stuck my tongue out and made a comment on her empty blog post. Jeez... I'm sure her incisiveness will appear and tell me what a knucklehead I am.

When there is some actual content, I'll do the right thing and make a link on my sidebar.

Food For Thought

2006-07-23T12:12:00.000-04:00

"Every gun that is made, every warship that is launched, every rocket that is fired signifies a theft from those that hunger and are not fed, from those who are cold and are not clothed."

President Dwight D. Eisenhower

Finished Before It Started

2006-07-22T02:13:00.000-04:00

Grendel almost had his big break today. The little fugger was going to appear with PJ in a segment for "Ancestors in the Attic", a pending History Television Canada show about Genealogy. Grendel likes to park on PJ's desk in his little doggie bed while PJ works his magic and unravels the current mystery. The cameras were primed and ready, and the lights were set.

And then, Grendel blew his chance. It seems that his baser instincts got the better of him, and he left the confines of his little bed and guzzled PJ's muffin. As the muffins were an integral part of the story, it didn't work very well for one of the extras to leave his mark and eat the prop. Everyone had a good laugh. Grendel finished the muffin, and his TV career was finished before it even started.

He could have been a star. Instead he got to go for a walk with me while the crew and PJ finished the shot without him. I guess the simpler life will have to suffice for the wee canine. He just couldn't hack it on the set.

Time To Get Serious Again

2006-07-21T10:20:00.000-04:00

This Tuesday past, J, my substitute pilates teacher mentioned that she was just finding out about the current havoc in the middle east. Needless to say, she was pretty upset about the news that bombs were dropping like snowflakes in a blizzard. I'm pretty upset too, and even though I have no friends or family in that part of the world, I'm deeply concerned about the events unfolding. People are suffering on a grand scale.

I'm going to put it in simplistic terms, and if you think I'm a nutcase, then you're welcome to say so. I'm not a foreign policy expert, and I'm not privy to the discussions that have provoked this outrage either. I do know that events are seriously wrong.

It seems to me that the Israelis are going completely overboard. The kidnap of a handful of soldiers (not civilians) by a known military group has provoked a disproportionate response from the Israeli government and military. Is the life of a soldier or two worth bombing an entire country into oblivion? Lebanon has been turned into a nation of homeless people. There are literally millions of people fleeing for their lives, while western governments, unfortunately including my own, are saying the Israelis have a right to defend themselves. Defense? It sure looks like offense to me.

Using the pretext that a small group of militants has kidnapped a handful of soldiers, Israel has unleashed a terrible campaign of violence against the entire nation of Lebanon. Lebanon is not Hezbollah. The entire city of Beirut is not responsible for the kidnapping of the soldiers. What it all boils down to is, millions of people should not be paying for the misdeeds of a handful.

My heart goes out to the good people of Lebanon, and I hope they get some relief and soon. While the USA supports dictatorships in Saudi Arabia, and Egypt, the legitimately elected regime in Lebanon is in danger of collapsing under the strain of the Israeli-led and American-financed invasion. I have to ask "How is this helping spread stability and democracy?"

Might does not make right, and far too many people hold on to the mistaken impression that the opposite is true. To paraphrase Eisenhower, every weapon purchased is a diversion of money that could be better used to house, cloth, and feed people. Eisenhower was right and he ought to have known. He saw enough brutality during World War II to see it first hand. It's a travesty, and I'm getting irritated by all of the weapons and violence in the world.

The same self righteous bastards who claim they are defending themselves are ruining the lives of millions. They go to their churches, synagogues and mosques and pray for peace. It's a sickening contradiction. If there is a God, She's getting very angry.

Have You Humiliated Your Pet Today?

2006-07-16T22:55:00.000-04:00

I wish to propose a new holiday.

Write or phone your Member of Parliament, or your Congressman or whoever you think would get the best mileage from my lame idea. We should have a new holiday called "Pet Humiliation Day." For all the wretched things we have to endure like cleaning up excrement and other dog and cat related messes, we should be able to poke fun at our pets one day of the year to make up for it.

Grendel with His Alpaca Toupee
Silly outfits and publicly distributed pictures would be a good start. And it doesn't matter whether you have a commonplace quadrupedal vertebrate like a barncat or a chihuahua, or something more exotic. They all make messes, so they could all use a dose of humility.

Whaddaya think? A day off with your ridiculously attired pet. What is there to dislike?

Down But Not Out

2006-07-12T10:24:00.000-04:00

Spot has survived her brush with mortality, and comes home this evening.

Apparently, the auld cat has regained her appetite, and is strong enough to come home, as long as I administer sub-cutaneous fluids to keep her fluids up. I guess she's like an old car. We love it, but the car burns a litre of oil to go any distance, and you have to top it up once in a while.

After all we've been through, I'm surprised Spot made it at all. I guess she's more of a fighter than we figured. I honestly thought I'd have to make a tough decision on Monday. Here it is two days later, and Spot is rallying. Go Barncats!

Grendel should keep his distance, because I'm sure Spot will be in no mood for a young knuckleheaded puppy after four days in the hospital. The feline equivalent of swearing like a sailor will issue forth, and Grendel will know in no uncertain terms that Spot doesn't want any of his juvenile crap.

Bathtime for Bonehead

2006-07-10T22:57:00.000-04:00

On a lighter note, here's a picture of the wee canine having his monthly bath. Spot's doing better, so there's life in the old gal yet. More news tomorrow.

Walking On Eggshells

2006-07-10T00:40:00.000-04:00

It's been a bit nerve-wracking today. I took Grendel on a long walk this afternoon, and I checked at the veterinary clinic to see how W. Spotticus Maximus was doing. After my previous entry, Sassinak convinced me to take Spot in last night, and considering her state, I'm glad I did. It just got the treatment going 14 hours sooner. I'm trying not to feel guilty about not taking her to the clinic sooner.

She's definitely suffering from acute kidney failure right now, and apparently her potassium levels are not very good either. It's all an indicator that this might be the bitter end for the combative barncat. She's getting rehydrated with IV, and hopefully the fluids will kick start the kidneys again.

Spot was born in Paris, ON, on August 18th, 1991. She's a Parisite, through and through. Her mum was a mostly white tortoise shell cat, and her dad was a barncat from somewhere near Chesley. Male parentage unknown, but likely a fearsome critter that ruled the area in the vicinity of his farm. The attitude comes through in Spot. She was never one to shirk the responsibility of telling the humans off when it was necessary.

I am hoping the strong 'tude, as they say in the vernacular, will carry her through her current problem. Some of her feistiness is showing apparently, so the Doctors haven't given up hope just yet (ka-ching). I guess I'll know later whether she's going to make it or not. I'm just glad my friends are around, and they can help me through my four-legged friend's ordeal. Sassinak and I are both a little bummed out. It would be nice to hear the deep throated growl as Grendel gets too close for comfort again.

Kinda Bummed

2006-07-08T16:30:00.000-04:00

It's a beautiful day in Toronto today. The sun is shining, and there isn't a cloud in the sky. The streets are full of people going about their business and enjoying the street performers on Yonge St. Despite all this I'm a little down.

Spot, my auld feline is not doing so well. She is off her food, and doesn't have any spring left in her step. She's sleeping most of the time, and she isn't her usual self. She can't even rouse herself to fight with Grendel. She'll throw a swing at him and growl a little bit, and then she'll just sit there staring at him hoping he'll lose interest and go somewhere else.

Spot has been around since 1991. If she lasts another month she'll celebrate her fifteenth birthday on August 18. Pretty good for an old feline. I would rather not see her fading away so quickly, but such is life. When you don't feel like carrying on, there's not much anyone else can do about it. I hope the good Doctor can help tomorrow when I take her to the clinic.

I'll keep you posted. Until then, I'll keep my fingers crossed and hope that things turn around for the old kitty.

Worth Repeating

2006-07-01T00:12:00.000-04:00

I found this disturbing piece on the web, and it is worth repeating. Our American neighbours, and our own Canadian troops in Afghanistan are using depleted uranium ordinants more and more, and the author of this editorial has hit the nail right on the head. It's hard to lie about spreading peace and democracy, when we're really spreading toxins and illness. Cancer affects us all, and we should expend a lot more care when it comes to covering the entire surface of the earth with microscopic traces of U-238. I'm not a scientist, but after having worked at a nuclear power station, I feel qualified to put in my two cents worth on the subject. We were trained to treat even trace amounts of radioactive stuff with the utmost care, and now we're letting soldiers fire the stuff at their enemies with impunity. It's just wrong, and I'm pissed off about it.

*********************************

Spreading Cancer

By Robert C. Koehler
Tribune Media Services

Thursday 29 June 2006

The unending game of "pretend" that the U.S. media allow George Bush to play on the global stage, so often letting his lying utterances hang suspended, unchallenged, in the middle of the story, as though they were plausible - as though a class of third-graders couldn't demolish them with a few innocent questions - feels like the journalistic equivalent of waterboarding. Gasp! Some truth, please!

I suggest the prez has forfeited the right to command a headline, or half a story, or an uninterrupted quote: "... we'll defend ourselves, but at the same time we're actively working with our partners to spread peace and democracy," he said last week in Austria.

Surely "spreading democracy" should no longer be allowed to appear in print, between now and 2008, unless accompanied by a parenthetical clarification ("not true," stated as profanely as local standards allow). And that, of course, would only be the media's first step back into integrity with the public.

The occupation of Iraq, the occupation of Afghanistan, the entire war (to promote) terror ... please, please, can these no longer be trotted out in consequence-free abstraction, but as the high-tech malevolence they are, actively continuing the incalculable devastation of countries and their populations?

The bodies keep piling up, the toxic horrors spread. Hasn't anyone in this place ever heard of depleted uranium? Is the health crisis in Iraq and, indeed, throughout the Middle East and Central Asia, not to mention Kosovo and among returning vets for the last four American wars, somehow irrelevant to "the course" we're asked to stay?

"Two strange phenomena have come about in Basra which I have never seen before. The first is double and triple cancers in one patient. For example, leukemia and cancer of the stomach. We had one patient with two cancers - one in his stomach and kidney. Months later, primary cancer was developing in his other kidney - he had three different cancer types. The second is the clustering of cancer in families. We have 58 families here with more than one person affected by cancer.... My wife has nine members of her family with cancer."

This is Dr. Jawad Al-Ali, director of the oncology center at the largest hospital in Basra, speaking in 2003 at a peace conference in Japan. Why is it that only peace activists are able to hear people like this? Why hasn't he been asked to testify before Congress as its members debate the future of this war and the next?

"Children in particular are susceptible to DU poisoning," he went on. "They have a much higher absorption rate as their blood is being used to build and nourish their bones and they have a lot of soft tissues. Bone cancer and leukemia used to be diseases affecting them the most. However, cancer of the lymph system, which can develop anywhere on the body and has rarely been seen before the age of 12, is now also common."

Depleted uranium - DU - is the Defense Establishment euphemism for U-238, a byproduct of the uranium enrichment process and the ultimate dirty weapon material. It's almost twice as dense as lead, catches fire when launched and explodes on impact into microscopically fine particles, or "nano-particles," which are easily inhaled or absorbed through the skin; it's also radioactive, with a half-life of 4.468 billion years.

And we make bombs and bullets out of it - it's the ultimate penetrating weapon. We dropped at least 300 tons of it on Iraq during Gulf War I (the first time it was used in combat) and created Gulf War Syndrome. This time around, the estimated DU use on defenseless Iraq is 1,700 tons, far more of it in major population centers. Remember shock and awe? We were pounding Baghdad, in those triumphant early days, with low-grade nuclear weapons, raining down cancer, neurological disorders, birth defects and much, much more on the people we claimed to be liberating. We weren't spreading democracy, we were altering the human genome.

As we "protected ourselves," in the words of the president, from Iraq's non-existent weapons of mass destruction, we opened our own arsenal of WMD on them, contaminating the country's soil and polluting its air - indeed, unleashing a nuclear dust into the troposphere and contaminating the whole world.

"We used to think (DU) traveled up to a hundred miles," Chris Busby told me. Busby, a chemical physicist and member of the British government's radiation risk committee, as well as the founder of the European Committee of Radiation Risk, has monitored air quality in Great Britain. Based on these findings, "It looks like it goes quite around the planet," he said.

While Bush mouths ironic whoppers - "We will be standing with the people of Afghanistan and Iraq until their hopes for freedom and liberty are fulfilled," he told the U.N. General Assembly a while back - his actions pass, in the words of former Livermore Labs scientist Leuren Moret, "a death sentence on the Middle East and Central Asia."

A war crime of unprecedented dimension is unfolding as we avert our eyes. Perhaps it's simply too big to see, or to grasp, so we lull ourselves into the half-belief that the powers that be know what they're doing and it will all turn out for the best. Meanwhile, the contagion spreads, the children die, the planet becomes uninhabitable.

2006-06-18T20:36:00.000-04:00

A rosebush is about the only thing blooming in my mum's garden this weekend. The spring flowers are largely finished, and the summer flowers have yet to appear. The lilies are coming, but this rosebush is the only colour besides some posies.

2006-06-17T14:36:00.000-04:00

Grendel had a grand time bouncing around in the tall grass on LB's farm with Archie yesterday. He doesn't get many opportunities to run around off leash, so it was a treat to turn him loose. The golden retriever and the horse were both enthralled with Grendel, because they usually have farm sized animals to deal with. They didn't quite know what to make of the wee canine from the big city.

2006-06-17T14:32:00.000-04:00

Archie lives on a small farm in Valentyne ON. He's a friendly guy who towers over most everyone else. Grendel looks up to Archie.

2006-06-17T14:29:00.000-04:00

Grendel's new friend is named Archie. Archie was quite fascinated by the little fugger, as you can see from the puzzled look on his face. He's lived with other horses and fully grown golden retrievers, so he's not exactly sure what to make of an 8 pound chihuahua. I don't know what to make of Grendel myself sometimes, so I can sympathize with Archie.

2006-06-13T14:36:00.000-04:00

Hubris and Grendel recreating Goya's painting "Saturn Devours His Children." We all had a good laugh trying to get the lighting right, and then Hubris slaved over a photoshop console for several days getting it just perfect. No chihuahuas were harmed in the making of this artwork. In fact, I think the chihuahua bit Hubris.

Whirled Cup Fever

2006-06-13T13:20:00.000-04:00

For those of you who live in a cave, the World Cup is on right now, and despite the fact that Canada never makes the final tournament, Toronto is the best place to be for the competition. That's because everybody in Toronto is from somewhere else, and when the World Cup is ongoing, we aren't afraid to let our neighbours know our loyalties. Our daily cares are forgotten for a few weeks, and the only thing that matters is "the beautiful game."

I was strolling home from brunch with Sassinak when a convoy of cars rolled past. The vehicles were festooned with South Korean flags, and the occupants were doing their best to let the whole street know that their team had just won. Good for them. And fortunately, it's not just South Koreans getting into the act. If the Portuguese or the Italians win a game, it's pretty hard not to notice their fans parading their colours. And the same is true for all the rest of the thirty two teams. If they win, there are good chances that they have some fans in our great multicultural city.

As for me, I've drawn Angola and Trinidad in the pool. While I'd like to see both teams do well, neither are favourites, and Angola has already lost one game. I think my 10 bucks are quickly disappearing and likely to go into the mad sailor's pocket. He drew Brazil and Argentina. So I am just going to smile and enjoy the celebrations, and think happy thoughts about the World Cup tournament in four years time. Perhaps Ireland will make it back in, and Canada might pull off a minor miracle and get into the tournament too. The only thing I can hope for in the short term is if someone scores an upset against Italia, and I can tease Sassinak. I will buy her a Moretti to drown her sorrows.

Go Trinidad!

Sour Apples

2006-06-10T14:00:00.000-04:00

I'm irked. For the third time since I got my MacMini computer, I've had to reinstall the OS-X from scratch. Here's the scenario: I put an audio CD into the drive, and usually, Itunes starts up and plays the disk. The lewd pulsating rhythms come out of my speakers, and I am a happy guy. Once in a while, the computer gets into a retarded state, and refuses to do anything. I can't kill Itunes or eject the disk. I can't tell the computer to shutdown and restart. My back is to the wall, and I have to push the power button.

This is where the real trouble starts. For the third time, I got a nice little folder icon in the middle of the monitor with a flashing question mark. Invariably this means the partition table on the disk is corrupt, and I've lost all my data. The disk first aid utility can't fix it either. I have no option but to erase the disk and start from scratch. It wasn't so bad the first couple of times, but this time I've lost some real work. I think if someone tells me that Apple computers are superior to Intel based systems running Windows or Linux, I'll have no choice but to laugh in their face and tell them my sad tale.

I'm sick of this, and I'm going to pout until I get my little computer fixed. I'd like to see Apple exceed my expectations for once. I've been abused by Microsoft and Intel for years. It's Apple's turn to see if they can do better. So far, I'm thinking there isn't much difference. I'm going to "think different" and show contempt for Apple too. So far, I'm not exactly jumping for joy because I've got another brand of computer.

After several hours of fiddling, I've finally got it back to a state where I like it. This time I'm going to make a backup or two so I don't have to mess around for so long if it happens again. Then I'm going over to the computer shop to raise hell.

Needless to say, this blog entry was composed on my PC.

You are what you eat, or I've got a squirrel-dog

2006-06-08T01:04:00.000-04:00

Grendel's not doing so hot on the grade 2 stuff. It's a lot more complicated, and I've been dragging my butt trying to be consistent with the little fugger. We need to perfect the down-stay-sit commands on the long lead. Grendel, the 8 pound terror, has to be manageable at the end of a 20 foot lead. It's tricky getting him to behave on the short leash. Slowly but surely, he's getting better.

To his credit however, he sits well on command, and sticks to my left heel when he's at my side. Good on him. He's also learning to be a diplomat. You ask "diplomacy? Huh?" I'm giving Grendel treats while I'm teaching him to shake a paw. It's just one of those things that every dog should do. Oddly enough, I have found that the wee dog quite enjoys roasted peanuts. The great big Virginia peanuts at the St. Lawrence Market are his favourite.

My dog is a little nuts, so I guess the title is apt. I'm inclined to check with the breeder to make sure that Grendel's mum Rosie wasn't accidentally mated with a black squirrel and not Paco. At 8 months of age, it's a little late to be asking about my money back, and I love the little fugger anyway, no matter if he's part rodent.

That's Showbiz

2006-06-04T20:40:00.000-04:00

For those of you who don't know, my partner PJ is working on a show for History Television Canada. He has had the remarkable luck of turning his hobby of genealogy into a paying gig. Next to one of his co-stars, he's the ultimate library/archive geek, and knows piles of stuff about local and Canadian history. He doesn't lose trivia contests. It has all been very exciting.

The production company has wrapped the first four shows of the season, and to celebrate, the producer invited the cast and crew to his home the other day for some drinks and some upscale nibbles. There was sushi, and brie, and fresh baguettes, and... a whole bunch of people who didn't bat an eye when PJ introduced me as his partner.

I have got to say that I'm very pleased to have met these folks. A lot of times, I have to pretend, and hide my relationship from people I interact with. Not so with the showbiz crowd. I didn't have to hide and make less than complete statements like "I'm PJ's roommate", or "I'm PJ's friend." The nice folks at the party were quite unfazed to meet me, and happily accepted me as PJ's partner.

A lot of things have changed in my lifetime, and I am glad I live in the heart of Canada's largest and most liberal city. With the passage of same-sex marriage laws this past year I feel like I can dispense with the habits of keeping my trap shut, and being less than forthcoming with people I meet. I don't think I have had to lie, but I haven't told the entire truth at times. And, that can wear on you after a while.

When I was growing up in small-town Ontario, it wasn't unheard of to hear of gay people getting beaten or worse because their "secret" got out. We've all heard of the high incidence of suicide among gay youth. I have lived my entire life wondering if I'm going to be a victim of some kind of discrimination just because I'm the way I am. I can't complain, because I've never been beaten up, but I've certainly heard all the "fag" jokes, and the standard bigotry that a lot of people spout without even thinking a second time.

How refreshing then, to meet people who work with and happily accept couples of all sorts without reservations. The rest of society could take a page out of their book. Couples of any kind are free to marry and conduct their lives openly and less fearfully because our society is changing, and I like to think that Canada is leading the world in some ways. What a wonderful eye opener to have met all these nice people at the party. It's just a small example of how things are changing for the better.

Wobbly Pop Database

2006-05-29T18:35:00.000-04:00

My pal Sass is going to be disappointed, but it is better she hear from me than some anonymous stranger.

I found a Beer database at http://beer.trash.net/. I did some snooping around to look for some of my favourites, and some of the odd ones I've savoured over the years. To my delight I found a reference for Xingu, a lovely pint from Brazil. I heartily recommend it if you ever get a chance. But getting back to the subject, Sass' favourite, from the Big Rock Brewery, Kold, has only a three bottlecap rating. I'm sure she's going to be writing letters to her Member of Parliament about the terrible slight.

I've taken a few slurps of Kold myself, and Sass' opinion of this fine brew holds up. The rating system goes from one bottlecap (really bad) to five bottlecaps (bloody excellent). Kold, get three, which translates into OK. Boy, is she gonna be irritated! Of course the database was created in the spirit of fun, and I hope your favourite holds up. The database has over 2000 beers from around the world, and it's got some lovely ones. It just hasn't rated Sass' favourite wobbly pop properly.

2006-05-24T10:59:00.000-04:00

Whose squeaky toy is it anyway? Grendel likes nothing better than a little tug of war over his squeaky hotdog toy, except perhaps harassing Spot.

2006-05-16T15:04:00.000-04:00

Xavier Rudd's stage setup. I had the pleasure of hearing his concert last night at the Phoenix. He's quite amazing, and plays percusssion, didgeridoos, guitars and sings. Sometimes all at the same time. It was hot and sweaty inside the hall, but it was worth the crowding to hear the music. If you don't know Xavier Rudd, I can't recommend it highly enough. Of course Sassinak fancies herself the leading authority on Xavier Rudd, because she started stalking him last summer. I'm thinkin' he ought to get a restraining order!

2006-05-14T23:33:00.000-04:00

Downstream from the Epping Bridge this afternoon. There were still no alligators using the crossing. I think they haven't come back from vacation down south yet.

2006-05-14T23:25:00.000-04:00

It was a long day ahead for the little fugger. He took a good stretch after I woke him up. Once we all got some breakfast into us, he got to come on our annual Mother's Day Mountain Tour. We covered over 140 km the slow way. We stopped at Slabtown, the old corduroy road, Hogg's Falls, The Eugenia Emporium, and the Epping Swamp. It was a grand time. We celebrated Mother's Day in style. As for Grendel's mum, she's a bitch, so we didn't even call.

2006-05-14T23:11:00.000-04:00

Even Grendel was impressed when this cute pair of Mallards strutted across the neighbour's yard yesterday afternoon. It's so nice to have visitors dropping by, whether they are human or avian. We saw cardinals, purple finch, swallows and all sorts of other birds this weekend. These two were the highlight though. Just ducky.

2006-05-14T22:52:00.000-04:00

Marsh Marigolds in full bloom. Dazzling little flowers, or as my pal Tomr says, "Plant Porn."