Oh No! Have I Mutated Into Paris Hilton?
I don't mind Paris Hilton that much. She's very good at being famous for no apparent reason. Aside from the fact she has an amazing amount of filthy lucre, the only thing that really irks me about Paris is the way she totes her damn chihuahua around like a bloody accessory. I'd be surprised if that dog even knows how to walk when it isn't cradled in her arms. I swore that I'd never subject my chihuahua to the indignity of being a spoiled lapdog.
The paperguy insisted that if he saw Grendel wearing a cutesy outfit, he would disavow any knowledge of my existence. Then, he said he'd kick my ass. I might have to watch my back because I've had to go buy some new threads for Grendel.
The little fugger has hit a gargantuan 4.3 kilograms. For you imperial measure folks, that's 9.5 pounds. When you don't have a lot of body mass, the chilly evenings of the Canadian fall means you've got to bundle up if you want to go outside. In the interest of seeing my canine pal have an outdoor life, we went to the local pet shop to find a jacket for him. It's a sharp looking red nylon shell lined with fleece that wraps around his chest and his thorax with velcro fasteners. It has the added bonus of reflective strips for visibility at night. It keeps him warm when the air is cool, and he can still get out for a walk. Not such a bad deal for a short haired Canadian canine.
I was brought up with the standard masculine conceits regarding an acceptable size for a dog, and Grendel doesn't fit the bill. Even Sassinak's cats are bigger. What really sets me off now is how obvious my dog is. He's decked out in bright red, and the jingling of his rabies tag makes sure everyone notices him despite the fact he's only 2 hands tall at the shoulder. It's painfully obvious that I've got to make some mental adjustments now, because I'm on that slippery slope. Despite my better judgement, I'm stuck with a chihuahua and cutesy dog outfits.
I hope the paperguy doesn't keep his word. I promise not to get any hats for Grendel. That should be acceptable middle ground, and defray any tensions that Grendel's couture might cause. At least I'm not famous for nothing. I'm not famous at all, and Grendel still knows how to walk.
The paperguy insisted that if he saw Grendel wearing a cutesy outfit, he would disavow any knowledge of my existence. Then, he said he'd kick my ass. I might have to watch my back because I've had to go buy some new threads for Grendel.
The little fugger has hit a gargantuan 4.3 kilograms. For you imperial measure folks, that's 9.5 pounds. When you don't have a lot of body mass, the chilly evenings of the Canadian fall means you've got to bundle up if you want to go outside. In the interest of seeing my canine pal have an outdoor life, we went to the local pet shop to find a jacket for him. It's a sharp looking red nylon shell lined with fleece that wraps around his chest and his thorax with velcro fasteners. It has the added bonus of reflective strips for visibility at night. It keeps him warm when the air is cool, and he can still get out for a walk. Not such a bad deal for a short haired Canadian canine.
I was brought up with the standard masculine conceits regarding an acceptable size for a dog, and Grendel doesn't fit the bill. Even Sassinak's cats are bigger. What really sets me off now is how obvious my dog is. He's decked out in bright red, and the jingling of his rabies tag makes sure everyone notices him despite the fact he's only 2 hands tall at the shoulder. It's painfully obvious that I've got to make some mental adjustments now, because I'm on that slippery slope. Despite my better judgement, I'm stuck with a chihuahua and cutesy dog outfits.
I hope the paperguy doesn't keep his word. I promise not to get any hats for Grendel. That should be acceptable middle ground, and defray any tensions that Grendel's couture might cause. At least I'm not famous for nothing. I'm not famous at all, and Grendel still knows how to walk.
posted by othercat @ 12:45 p.m.
2 Comments:
At 4:33 p.m.,
sassinak said…
you haven't mutated yet but you're definetely on the road...
and i'm afeared for you my friend!
At 2:34 a.m.,
othercat said…
The little fugger looks great in his new coat, and he's getting used to the idea of getting outside in inclement weather. I am beginning to feel less emasculated walking him about in his new threads. He's a big chihuahua, NOT a little dog.
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