Godzilla meets Eyeball

More good news to report. I just got out of the eye clinic, and I have my
latest results. My right eye is now 20/40 and my left eye is 20/25. We have
discovered that color perception in my left eye is returning but I'm quite
colorblind in my right eye. My visual acuity is coming along quite nicely.
Color perception, and sensitivity to light are still an issue. Even on a
dull cloudy day like today, what little sun gets through is enough to dazzle
me a bit, and gives me a great deal of difficulty trying to focus.

The good doctor conducted a quick and dirty field test this morning, and we
discovered that there are still parts of my field of vision that are a
little bit dodgy. The lower left quadrant of my right eye is weak, and
there's still a small but noticeable area of weakness in my left eye. It's
certainly not as bad as the field test from January 12, but I still have
cause for concern. On the practical side, I'm still using the Microsoft
magnifier to read things on my screen. I suspect that I'll have to wait a
little while before my vision is in a steady state so that I can get myself
a new reading glass prescription. My distance vision is now good enough
that I could probably resume driving, but I'm going to spare the good people
of Toronto that headache and avoid getting behind the wheel of the car just
to be safe.

What I need to do now is to counter the emotional turmoil caused by the
steroids I'm on. Last evening I went from a state of relative happiness to
complete confusion and anger in a matter of seconds. I'm still dependant on
my friends and partner, so I can't be pissing them off too much. I can now
understand how 'roids can cause all sorts of erratic behavior. It's like
I've been on a week long speed trip. My digestion, sleep patterns and
emotional steadiness are all unsettled. I think I've had enough of this
stuff to fuel an entire gym for a couple of months. I have only lost my
composure a handful of times since this episode began, but I'd rather not in
the first place. While I regret barking at Sassinak last night, the worst
incident was when I was in the hospital. I was was listening to a string
arrangement of "Good Night" by the Beatles, and at the end of the tune, a
lovely female voice chimes in and says, "goodnight everybody...goodnight."
At the time things were quite dark, and when I heard the voice, a massive
lump formed in my throat. It was all I could do to stop from bawling like a
baby. The plaintive lullaby, and the soothing voice didn't do a lot to calm my nerves. At that moment, I contemplated never seeing anything again. The proverbial ton-o-bricks landed on my ass. Thank goodness that feeling
passed.

All in all, I'm quite happy. The drug doses are tapering off, and I have
less than a week to go. I'm a little less wound up every day, so I think I
can cope until the treatment finishes. The end is in sight.

***

While I'm on the subject of good news, I had a bit of fun last night. Weak
eyes and all, I went to the rink at Nathan Phillips Square and took a spin on my new skates. Am I ever glad I had a Christmas Gift Certificate burning
a hole in my pocket. I must have been out on the ice for a couple of hours,,
and much to my surprise, I didn't land on my arse. Sass came along for the
ride too, so it was nice to get back on skates after a long 19 years. I also
had the pleasure of hooking up with my long lost friend, The Mad Modeller.
It's been a long six or seven years since I had seen him. It's almost like
we hadn't parted company at all. We had a pleasant dinner and caught up on things after my spin on the rink was complete. Hard times always make you find out who your real friends are, and I'm glad my little horror story made him surface again. I will never groan about airplane and helicopter models as long as I live!

***

"All understanding begins with our not accepting the world as it appears." -
Alan C. Kay