Adventures In Health Care Part Deux

[as dictated to sassinak]

Hello everyone, I'm finally out of the St. Michael's Golf and Country Club where I've been treated to the best healthcare around for my affliction. I arrived at the opthalmology clinic Monday morning to demonstrate to the good doctors my complete blindness. As I was two days early for my appointment they quickly took notice and sent me across the street to see an entire gaggle of neurologists.

At least I think that's the kind of group that neurologists make.

The gaggle quickly determined that my eyesight was largely defunct as a result of my cold and flu before Christmas. Basically they ran tests galore to eliminate every other possibility and the only thing they could agree on was that my body rejected my optic nerve when it was invaded by the flu virus.

To treat me they have decided to give me megadoses of high powered steroids to boost my body's ability to regenerate the nerve tissue quickly and so far it seems to be working.

For example, on Monday on the way to the hospital I couldn't see the crossing lights at street corners. I was guessing that it was safe to cross because I could see the dark shapes of the cars moving through the intersection and I was following them in hopes that they weren't breaking the law.

It got me to the hospital safely anyway.

Since the beginning of the therapy my ability to appreciate light has increased remarkably even though it's not so hot yet. I can see a clock from ten feet away rather than having to peer at it from about a foot. This doesn't include tiny things like watches and microwave displays, this is a clock. So you can see how I can't.

That's pretty pathetic but it's still improving.

My pal in Montreal says that I should get a job as an American League baseball umpire or a driving instructor.

My first two nights in the hospital were quite restful as I had a nice peaceful room and good co-habitants who were not too much trouble. The last night ended up being a whole other kettle of fish. I was delighted to share my room with three post-surgery orthopedic patients who were all in various states of repair and all in great deals of pain.

Needless to say, they had the nurses running in and out of the room all night dealing with pain medication and various body adjustments that they couldn't make for themselves while i tried to grasp a few fitful hours of sleep. It wasn't a good mix but I can't begrudge them their pain because I certainly wouldn't want it myself.

Even so, one of them still tried to pick up Sassinak while she was paying me a visit. [he even asked me to wear a naughty nurse outfit if i came back - sass] So you have to admire his spirit. Regardless all the moaning and groaning didn't give me much of a good night's sleep. Ultimately I'm glad to be home and in the care of Sassinak and a nice russian woman who came in to set up the intravenous 'roids.

All's well with the world thanks to my seeing-eye blogger and I can now take extra therapy on my balcony.